I'm like totally freaking out right now. There's this guy in my English class. I kind of like him, but at the same time I don't want to like him. It's one of those things where if he asked me out, I wouldn't say no - but I don't want him to ask me out because I'm afraid that my parents or my friends will disapprove; there's also the fact that it is highly unlikely he likes me back anyway.

I'm just not sure what to do about this. I've never even been on a date, so I'm not sure what I'd even do in the event that he actually likes me back. Yeah, there's always MORP - but that's like my school's version of the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not asking him to a dance - that would be way too embarrassing, especially if he says no (which would most likely be the answer). I mean, if he liked me, he should have asked me out by now - and he hasn't, so I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel the same way I do. You can call me old-fashioned if you want, but in my mind - it's the guy's job to ask the girl out, not the other way around.

If I went to see the school musical, Guys & Dolls, I would have had an excuse to see him - since he's actually in the play. He's playing Rusty! I don't know if I'm going to watch it tomorrow either - there's going to be two showings. Part of me wants to go because I love musicals. Another part of me doesn't want to go because I'm afraid my small crush on him will become a huge crush since I LOVE boys that sing.